Monday, February 26, 2007

HCwD of the Week: Orphans on Fire Edition

Something about last week’s budding ‘bags made me picture setting orphans on fire. I’m talking the 19th Century Oliver Twist wide eyed scurvy suffering high voiced ten year old orphans begging for a second bowl of porridge.

I’m not sure why. What would setting orphans on fire accomplish, exactly? The good news is they burn just like regular children. Except the flame is slightly bluer.

On to this week’s ‘bag finalists…

HCwD of the Week Finalist #1: The Wifebeater


Classic greasy pudster with a sexy if strangely pale faced cutie on his arm, The Wifebeater inspires all of us to drink more water. And Rock Star Energy Drink, the choice of a Douchebag Generation.

His greasy underdressed chain wearing douchebaggery sets orphans on fire as we speak. Can you hear them crying for the mommie they never knew? Blame Wifebeater.

If you care about the orphans, that is.

HCwD of the Week Finalist #2: Maggie’s Baggie


This Friday Haiku pic brought lots of joy to the orphans down in Sister Jean’s convent. I’m talking bonfire level of joy. Crackling parentless nine year olds suffer so that Maggie’s Baggie can grin. Feel their pain.

Rod Stewart ‘Bag is all that is clubby and spiked in the douchebag “rocker” wing. And Tissue Hottie made an appearance in the comments thread. So maybe if I write more about how hot she is, I’ll have a better chance of Charlesing her Dickens.

Yes you, Maggie. You make lime shirted club promoters grease themselves up by the dozens just for a shot they’ll never have.

HCwD of the Week Finalist #3: Cheese

There’s no way I could leave out this sultry combo of exotic hotness and Shemp ‘Bag. It came down to this pic and Vienna Sausage but in the end I had to go with this fantastic pouty lipped beauty. And Shemp. Douchey Shemp.

Hey Moe, indeed.

So there’s your choices this week, folks. Won’t somebody please think of the burning orphans?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 15 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)