Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HCwD of the Week: T' Baggin'

The power of boob compels you.

Furry Men have been making a comeback in the douche canon lately, between this guy and Harry Beaver. T ‘Baggin is a rare example of a facially pubed up hair ‘bag molesting a girl, who quite simply shouldn’t exist in the same universe as his furry ass.

As Otto Graf von Douchemark broke down all three candidates:

This is a tough one but in the end I have to go with TBag. Following the anger-approach he simply sends the bar on the facepunch-O-meter right through the roof.

However, I have to give some respect to Pin Diesel for his extreme Douchery but he definitely lacks that special kind of flavour. He is like the Pizza Magherita of Douchery, just too generic. Maybe Id voted for him if he had some douchy smirk on his face or grabed the ladies hooters like Tbag.

Lastly Pud Cactus here, I cannot get really upset about him. Got so many of those here in Europe that I grew kind of used to dbags like this (still makes me want to shoot myself in the eye with a paintballgun though).

So its #1 Tbag

Nicely done, OG von D. And then there’s mickey o’douche, who throws some spew towards Scrotey Star Pin Diesel and his fledgeling douche-acting career:

#2 chronicles of riddouche. on the basis of the coma face alone. take away all the other douchey accoutrement — the sea anemone gel hair, the jesus bling, the salmon t-shirt with customized douchey message, the utter cheesiness of mixing bling and a t-shirt — and just the face alone makes sane men want to push their heads through walls. There are corpses in morticians’ lounges that show more signs of life than this scrote….?

So true, Mickey. So true. The everpresent anonymous dedicates the following poem to Pin D:

That vacant stare,
That Hiroshima Hair,
The earring,
The Jesus bling,
The spray-on tan
The T-shirt slogan
That Axed-out, sprayed on, pungent libido–
The calling card of the New Jersey Guido
Get thee back to the Jersey Shore
And darken my dreams no more, man whore.
For making me rhyme like Dr. Seuss
I condemn thee to infamy, Chronicles of Riddouche.

Nicely done, unnamed poster. “Darken my dreams no more, man whore.” Yowza.

However, Doc, Mitch Meats and count douchula all threw in with Full Frontal ‘Baggitude, going back for the classic ‘roided up Jersey scrote. I just couldn’t bring myself to make that pic a finalist, but maybe they’re right. The rage factor induced by that pirate tattooed wonton is definitely high.

But in the end, the facial scrote and the hotness of T ‘Bag was too much. Musclehead breaks it down for the style of the T:

The ultimate in douchiness. Not only does he keep it wangsta, but he comes correct with GHB and a friend with a camera to document the atrocities. Alas, he has one chink in his douchey armor, to which I offer this advice- “act like you’ve been there before.”

Give it up to T.B. A well earned victory.

# posted by douchebag1

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