Brown Satin 'Baglings
Far far away, in the distant tropical land of Bagswana, brown satin ‘baglings run free in their natural habitats, frolicking and mating as they have for thousands of days.
But poachers have been moving in. Prized for their slick neck-scarves, double sideways peace signs and foppishly curly hair, brown satin ‘baglings are facing a massive upheaval within their temperate climate zones. Forced to move to the fringes of urban areas due to incroaching non-‘bag gentrifications, ‘baglings are venturing farther and father outside their normal mating lands. Bars, even sporting events have spotted isolated ‘baglings engaging in the ritual Tag bodyshot application and offering to “Buy a honey a shot.” Some ‘baglings have even been spotted trolling the cereal aisle at the local supermarkets. It is a desperate situation.
Don’t let this happen. Preserving natural habitats for brown satin ‘baglings is something we must do if we are to ensure the survival of this rare and greasy species.
Give what you can to National Douchographic’s Endangered ‘Baglings Fund. Because the natural wonder of these creatures is something none of us can afford to lose.
On second thought, yes. Yes it is.
