Friday, March 16, 2007

Camo Bag


Even the Salvation Army would reject Camo ‘Bag based on a Code #423 — Douching Without Officer Permission. He’s what we like to classify a D-203 HFRPT — Human Firing Range Practice Target. Unfortunately the 10 Degree Army Hat Tilt rendered him unfit for active duty, so instead he’s been dishonorably discharged. And by discharged, I mean thrown in with the dishtowels and washed with a powerful bleach. And yet. His stench remains.

Where’s Private Pyle when you need him?

I long to dance the salsa with Princess on the right until she tires and I’m forced to carry her home to her brownstone on Main Street where we’d sit on a couch by the fire and I’d salivate uncomfortably on her ankles while staring at her boobs until she asked me to leave.

Red in the middle shows dangerous signs of sinking into the morass of female douchebaggery, the douchebaguette, stage-3/4 Bleeth infection. And it’s hard not to see why. Stand too close to a supernova Camo ‘Bag army scrote like Sargent Douchebag, and even the strongest willpower can’t stop the Stockholm Syndrome ‘Baggery from taking root like a deep foot fungus. And sweetie, not even Fast Actin’ Tinactin can cure that infection.

# posted by douchebag1

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