Wednesday, March 7, 2007

HCwD of the Week: Beastie Bag


Extremely tight vote this week, and by tight I mean sphincter. But in the end Beastie Bag squeaked out the win over Ghost on the sheer force of the innocence of his hottie.

Let there be no doubt, nothing is quite so wrong as seeing a sweet, wholesome midwestern peach get polluted by one lonely Beastie he be. Sphincter.

Although I did the tallying without pen and paper this morning because my head hurts from too much ‘Train. So it’s possible the Ghost actually won. But feh, it’s probably for the best, otherwise Maggie would be the hot chick in two of the four pics in Monday’s HCwD of the Month contest. And the permutations of the math would simply be too much for my sorry alcoholic hazed ass to attempt to figure out.

Did I mention sphincter?

Both Ghost and Justin Timberdouche received a fair amount of votes too, as this was a well balanced HCwDotW smackdown. popconservative makes the case for the Ghost:

The Ghost, and it’s not even close. Even if the HC is on the down side of Bleething (the fake Hell’s Angels gloves, etc.), that guy is far and away the douchiest of the bunch.

baron von goolo agreed:

Tough call. Mugger’s hottie is bringing Joy to my Luck Club, making Mugger’s scavenging leer that much more of a violation to all that is right with the world. But I have to give the nod to Ghost. His full body sheen threatens the lolly and the dolly with a slug-like coating of viscous douchery that no amount of Silkwood showers or Bestine could ever fully erase.

New reader ultra doosh extravaganza went for Mugger’s oily 80s Pop-Star wrongness:

Be it the MUGGER!!!

He sux so bad that even he knows it. Look at his lack of confidence. It is as if that chick coerced him into wearing that Janet Jackson get-up.

Hard to argue with that logic. But Amerigo Vesdouchey brings home the argument for the utter sphincter of Beastie and his perfect, all natural hottie goodness:

Beastie ‘bag (who BTW looks more like Add Rock than Mike D) has a lifetime of sweet homegrown lovin’ at his side. There’s no way in hell that this gay sweatshirt/cap wearing, ‘bag headbutt/hand gesture sporting douchebag has done anything to deserve her. He can shove that brass monkey, glass and all, right up his ass.

Beastie ‘bag gets my goat, and by goat, I mean vote.

And musclehead concurs:

Therefore, my vote goes for Beastie Bag. If for no other reason than his hottie is absolutely pristine. Hopefully she can be rescued before succumbing to the douche and becoming just another bleethed out waste.

fanny double douche agrees, taking home the prize for the B-Boy Scrote:

my vote is for beastie bag simply because i want to make b-boy bouillabaisse with his face. this dicko infuriates me. i can only hope those two fingers don’t smell like her easy-bake oven.

So there it is. Beastie moves on.

Looks like Maggie’s repeat appearances may have cost The Ghost some love. And by love I mean sphincter. So Beastie is in next week’s 4-pic all purpose smackdown douche extravaganza. And I’m off to have a bowl of coco-puffs.

Sphincter.

# posted by douchebag1

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