Saturday, March 31, 2007

Simon and Douchefunkle

Hello doucheness my old friend…
I’ve come to rag on you again…

There comes a time in every scrotebag’s life when he must choose whether or not to bust the unearned dog tags, the 10 degree hat tilt, the douchey facial expression, and of course, the aviator glasses. Thinking, as every aspiring ‘bag does, that such accoutrement will summon the hottie to his dark sleazy flame, he makes that choice. He pulls that lever. He wanks that pud.

And… uhm…. it worked.

sigh

Dammit.

I would light bonfires in the dried cackle brush of the Serengeti until the smoke signals summoned the rare white tailed mongoose. I would then explain in graphic and lurid detail to that mongoose how much I’d like to lick a pair of black short-shorts with white trim. Sure the mongoose wouldn’t understand. But I would. I would.

# posted by douchebag1

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