Wednesday, April 18, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Ab Lobster


A total landslide victory for this rapidly rising pic in the hottie/douchey pantheon. Granted the competition was more ‘bagling than ‘bag, but the victory is oompa-loompa goodness nonetheless.

i bling keys in on the determining factor of this scrote’s signification of ‘baggery:

Pointing to his abs, people. Pointing. To. His. Abs.

Yup. It really don’t get douchier than that. goofydouche concurs:

Tough call between Douchsplosion and Lobster. Hair-boy’s purple-clad hottie has a waist you could wrap your hands around with thumbtips and fingertips touching.

But Lobster has his own finger on the scale. Is he pointing at himself, or at Miss Darkroots? I vote self. Lobster rocks, in a bubbly buttered skin-sauce of his own excretion.

Mistress Julie sums it up, dominatrix style:

Gladly casting my vote for #3. This guy makes my blood boil and by boil I mean I would like to throw him in a pot of boiling water on my stovetop and listen to him scream in pain as his oompa loompa tan and scrote smirk melted off..

Die lobster boy. Die.

I love that Mistress Julie channeled the oompa loompas prior to their appearance on the site. Nice bit o’ clairvoyance there, cutie. And russel brings in the always enjoyable octagon reference:

the lobster. in an octagon of douche, he would claw through the hair of his two outclassed opponents and force a double douche tap out. they are like lions in mane only. but he, he is the lobster!

I think Ab Lobster may have found himself an identity outside of just “club douche.” On second thought, no. “Club Douche” will always be his first, second and third identity.

Great comments in the comments thread, once again. The Lobster is our first entry for next month’s HCwDB of the Month smackdown, where he will compete to join Pumpy and whomever wins the current contest. Which is my roundabout way of saying, get yer vote in.

# posted by douchebag1

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