Thursday, May 24, 2007

Ask DB1


douche baggins writes in and asks:

——-
I was wondering if it is possible to turn your ‘bagness on and off? In other words, would it be possible for a scrote to have vast amounts of douchitude one day, then the next clean up and be the Anti-Grieco, and when Friday night rolls around and a full moon imparts its light upon a Jersey boy he begins to transform into a grease-faced, porcupine-scalp, shocker-waving douche?

Or is it more like, “once a douche, always a douche?”
——–

When meditating and ruminating on the ‘bag/not a ‘bag duality, it is important to consider douchosity as a spiritual essence, and douche signifiers simply the manifestation of that essence. So once one has crossed over to ‘Bag, one ceases to be un-‘Bag in any meaningful way, whether the signs are there or not. Like any spiritual crossing, ‘Bag remains ‘Bag in either active or covert state.

There is a road back to un-‘Bag for even the most polluted Jersey choad, but this process is complex and requires dedicated commitment to reform one’s douchey ways. The keen ‘Bag Hunter can usually spot dormant douchitude even in a scrote trying to hide. One must simply train the eye. The signs are always there.

# posted by douchebag1

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