Thursday, May 31, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Oompa Prompa

It wasn’t even close. Prom Oompa Loompa just crushed the competition. And by crushed, I mean Orange.

There’s a certain genius to the Prompa, and it’s not just the zoot suit or the orange or the hair. It’s that nervous moment we can all relate to. That glance around right before going to the prom when you’re waiting in line and making sure your tie’s on straight. The only difference is that unlike all of us at our prom who just felt like we looked ridiculous, Prompa actually does look absolutely ridiculous.

The range of emotions that Prompa inspired in the comments thread ran the gamut from hilarity to depression to heavy drinking. As the everpresent anonymous put it:

I stuck a couple of waffles in the toaster for breakfast but this thing in pink just made me lose my appetite. Time to call in sick to work and crack open the first OE of the day.

Nice Old English reference. I’m not the malt liquor drinker myself, but I respect anyone who mixes it with waffles. Born 2B Bag sums up the Prompa pain:

Grieco High, Newark New Jersey class of ’07. This is why Al Qaeda hates us.

They hate us for our hair gels, B2BB. choadasaurus rex wonders aloud at the development that lies in the future for this ‘Bagling and his sidekick:

WTF IS THAT?!?! This teen ‘Bag is definitely pushing the douchebag envelope. If he continues on this path his future here is bright… it will be interesting to follow his progression from prepubescent uberbagosity into a full blown scrote commando. Orange face, pink tux, gray spiked hair… and this is his prom gear. Imagine what his club ‘Bag attire would look like? I can’t even imagine… he is definitely shooting for the stars of douchedum. Watchout world… this new up and comer promises endless ‘Bag material.

The sky is the limit. He’s like the proverbial “next Michael Jordan” of the douchebag diegesis.

I was sad to see ‘Baggish and Syndrome find less support, as both are fully grown and highly accomplished scrotemeisters, well versed in the Art of ‘Bag. Each brought along a fine hottie to balance the equation, especially Syndrome’s (yum).

But the Orange Prompa was not to be denied. And there will be no cropping of this pic. Part of the genius is the long-shot. Finding the Prompa standing nervously in line.

It’s poetic art. Someone call the Guggenheim. Prompa is 21st Century dada at its finest.

So raise Prompa’s orange jersey to the rafters and book him a ticket to the Monthly. He’s officially enscribed as HCwDB legend.

# posted by douchebag1

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