Monday, May 21, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Sinatra Edition

A hearty good morning, fellow ‘bag slayers and pouty lipped hotties. I hope your weekend was free of all uber-douchosity popped collar greaseknobs and Bleethed out unrecoverable hotties long lost to the ways of the douche. Before we get to this week’s HCwDB contest, I have but one quote I’d like to add.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra

Tip o’ the hat, Chairman. It’s in your Jersey born honor that we mock these three fine scrotey specimens and the hotties who’ve been cursed to love them. Or at least occupy space near them for the 1/30th of a second that a digital camera shutter opened and closed. On to the finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Mack

‘Bag did it his way.

This is the type the Rat Pack would’ve taken out back behind the casino and introduced face to garbage can. He’s classic scrub brush choad. Greased up and chin first. The two confused cuties undressing him only heighten and fine tune the pain.

If, as Doc claims, this is The ‘Bagsgiver turkey from last Thanksgiving, then perhaps he shouldn’t be in the running this week.

But I asked myself, What Would Sinatra Do? The answer, is put this choad up for a vote. This pic earned it. If he’s the same as the douchebag Macking on the naked chicks in the sauna, all the better. And by better I mean worse.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Axl Rose ‘Bag

From here to douchebaggery.

Chin pubes in the night.

Start spreading the douche.

I’m using pic #2 of our Rose ‘Bag simply for the reason that it’s a purer example of the stench of douchosity that wafts off this choad like a rose. If the rose smelled like ass.

She is gumball leopard print innocence. He is a ball of gum. Douche gum. That stuck to my shoe last week and now I can’t get it off.

Dammit, the rage is rising. I want to pluck those chin pubes out one by one with a tweezer then flush his grillz down a toilet. Staring at this one’s killing me. Lets move on.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Tragedy of Oldbag: Mullet Toad

The man with the douchey gut.

Well since we can’t rightly call him Oldbag, I’m suggesting Mullet Toad unless anyone has any other names for this rotund wank.

She is pull my finger fantasy. He is 1970s gold chain wearing hot-tub dunking E.S.T. enrolling choat cream. I want to fire-hose his ass until he goes flippity floppity through that forest like the hat in Miller’s Crossing.

Damn.

To paraphrase Frank, you’re no-douchey ’till somebody mocks you. For the hotties, those boots are made for Bleething. Three burn worthy hottie/douchey combos this week.

The winner?

Well, that’s up to you, my ‘bag slaying hottie adoring compatriots.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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