Thursday, May 17, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Twin Bags

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With all this seafood flying around, I almost forgot we have a Weekly going on. And what I thought was one of the more tight Weeklys in awhile, and by tight I mean Tag, turned into a rout.

The Double Douche Twins were simply too much to take down, a double ‘bagging serving of greased up uber-scrote. The poetic Vinny Scumbaglia pens his ode to their doublemint goodness. And by goodness I mean B.O.:

All furnish’d, all in gel;
Mandana’ed like estridges that wing the wind
Baited like eagles having lately douched;
Glittering in scroted coats, like images;
As full of scrote as the month of May,
Douchebaglionic as the pondscum at midsummer;
Wanton as youthful scrotes, wild as young ‘bags.

Poetic beauty, V.S. Nicely done. Still, the arch bagger of canterbury reminds us never to forget the power of the hottie side of the equation, casting in with The Bells:

BUT. Bells HC is oh-so-lovely! The glasses, the all-natural look, the svelte yet fleshy shoulder and hip…delightful! Worse, DB’s groping and thrusting, and SHE’S ARCHED HER BACK TO RETURN THE THRUST. Arrrgh!

But Double the power of Scrotitude is too much to overcome. As Count Douchula observes:

With that being said I have to vote for the twins, because when I sobered up there were still two of them and it pissed me the hell off.

And honoring the greatest poet of observational douchebaggery, William “Bag Hunter” Shakespeare, douchie howser m.d. quoth the Bard:

What’s in a name? That which we call a douche by any other name would smell as shite. (Homeo and Douchiet)

Neither a douchebag nor a choad be; For douche oft loses both itself and friend, and ‘baggery dulls the edge of humanity. (Douchlet)

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the douche twins! (King Douchie the 6th)

Rise up the Twin Bags to the rafters. They’re the first entry in next month’s Monthly. To sleep, perchance to douche, ay, there’s the rub.

# posted by douchebag1

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