LawnGilander
If Ryan Gosling were to mate with a mango, and its spawn dressed in a zoot suit, we might come up with something approximating this heroic and immortal douche legend, LawnGilander.
Many don’t know the legend of the immortal deity, LawnGilander. His epic journey across the centuries, culminating with taking on Sean Connery in a sword fight battle of the Immortals for supremacy of the douche universe. And by sword fight battle, I mean getting your dates drunk on lemon drop shots, telling her all about your father’s construction business you’re going to inherit, and then trying to take her around back behind Dix Hills Highschool to make out on the soccer field.
Good luck with that, LawnGilander. May the forces of the Island douchitude carry you all the way until dawn.
