You Always Were a Douchebag
Were the image not cropped, the explosion of Cactus Hair would cinch the rank douchosity wafting from t-shirt boy here. He looks like a cross between Barbra Streisand and a vat of used cooking oil.
She, on the other hand, can fry my chicken wings in a gold plated wok. I’m not sure why I’m using chinese food references to describe Marisa Tomei Hottie, who I’m sure I’ve seen on the site before. Let me try again.
I would wrestle hogs at a county fair while shouting the lyrics to Gil-Scott Heron’s Whitey On the Moon if it meant I could gnaw her stuffed teddy bears for an hour. And no, stuffed teddy bears are not a euphemism for her curvy mammaries. I mean her actual stuffed animals. Because hotties like this always have stuffed teddy bears on the bed. Named Pookey and Lookey. I would gnaw them. Because I like to gnaw.
EDIT: I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve run this pic before on the site a few months ago. If so, lets mock him again. He deserves it.
