Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Ask DB1: The Doggy 'Bag

Reader Lucian writes in:

———
I have noticed somewhat of a douchbagnatic trend in some of your more recent articles, which tragically enough in my beliefs contributes to stage 1 and stage 2 bleeth hotties contracting the Douche Virus and morphing into a stage 3 or even stage 4 bleeths. I am referring to the Douchewreck position demonstrated by The Trainwreck, The Boatwreck and Wednesday Limerick. Is this some new douchebag fashion pose we’ve not been warned about… and more importantly why do these hotties seem to be cooperating? I was curious if you could possibly shed some light on the situation and if there is a possible way of warning these hotties of the tragic consequences of cooperation with this particular douchbag pose.

Concerned HCwDB Fan,

Lucian
——–

Excellent question, Lucian. Thanks for writing in and asking this.

I’ve noticed the same trend, and have even seen it manifest in ‘bag/hott inversion formation (pictured here). This is a new development in the increasingly morphing and mutating ‘Bag Virus, and it is important that we isolate and quantify it for further study. Or, in other words, mock the scrotey hell out of it. Therefore I am terming this new douche-move, The Doggy ‘Bag.

The Doggy ‘Bag is beyond mere ‘bag hand gesture. It is a completely new and distinct degeneration within the ‘bagg/hott permutations. It also makes my nethers itch like they’ve been pepper sprayed by an angry dwarf.

# posted by douchebag1

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