Wednesday, July 4, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Peaches

Although the Stereo Douchetonic Twins and The Choad Warrior both found fan support, this week it’s Peaches all the way. This wasn’t so much a victory as it was a coronation.

And while there’s no hotties in this pic, I figured I’d bring back Purg Hottie and add her to the festivities. Because I love her. And by love I mean inappropriate fondling and drooling in a pile of satin figleafs. With midget flautists playing Wagner. And lots of gypsy moths.

But I digress. Back to Peaches. lemon tart sums up the Peachsapeal:

Peaches, however, has gone so far to the Dark Side of Douche that he radiates scrotiness sans accoutrements. Peaches is the Svengali of Douche, attracting hotties with the force of his piercing gaze and the power of his abnormally long thumb and pointer finger. Peaches is the anti-hero of Douche Comics, and his super-douche powers can gel your hair into a spiky faux-hawk while stealing your hottie. Peaches is on the way to HCwDB– and dare I say HoS?– status, and deserves your vote today. PEACHES!

Well said, L.T. Well said, indeed. But we can’t just ignore the genius scrotitude that is the Stereo Douchtonics. As newbie Sean M. sums it up:

I’m going to cast my first-ever vote for Stereo douchetonic. The lack of shirts. The bling. The glasses. The classic douche-hair. The bag hand gesture. And, of course, the rage-inducing fact that they’re sandwiching such a lovely, girl-next-door-style hottie.

Twice the douche, people.

In any other HCwDB of the Week contest, you’d be right Sean. But this week it was Peaches day to fruitify. The eloquent darksock takes home the apricot:

The supremely punchable Peaches is the only clear douche-cision here. No bling, no glasses, no tribal tats, just pure water and vinegar.

Behold the tea-bagged glint of ball-grease upon his forehead: Peaches bears the mark of Massengill, pure and strong.

He rooks his gel-encrusted finger at us all, commanding the vote of skrote.

So right, D.S. Note the “Mark of the ‘Bag” in this pic as well. Total ballsack forehead brings up an important question.

So lets let this thread be a discussion topic. Peaches for “Hall of Scrote”? If you’re a regular, or even a lurker, chime in with your reasons to vote yea or nay on the Peach-Pit.

# posted by douchebag1

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