Monday, July 2, 2007

The Fruit Stripe Zebra


Before I turned 13 and the female form permanently damaged all higher cognitive function in my brain, I was obsessed with Fruit Stripe Gum. I used to love the stripey patterns on the sticks and the ultra fruity sugar rush. Even as they completely lost flavor and turned into a pasty wax substance after six seconds of chewing. I also loved the cartoon zebra on the package.

Tasty Fruit Stripe Hottie in the middle seems to have acquired the Zebra from the packaging on the right. On the left it’s either Mike or Ike. Or perhaps Jolly Joe. Or that black shmutz stuck to my shoe.

These three are apparently a band, and their music may be good or bad, I don’t know. But I do know Fruit Stripe when I see it. And I would grape her cherrys. Oh yes. And I think you know what I mean by that. Because it’s a highly complex euphemism. For coitus.

# posted by douchebag1

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