Friday, August 17, 2007

Douchefreak


I try to stay away from celebs here on the site, but Chriss Angel’s Douchefreakitude is just too much to keep on ignoring.

Hey Chrissss, how did you make my half digested lunch disappear from my stomach? If I pick a card, any card, will it be the 8 of “Greased Up Uberchoad”?

I generally have respect for magicians because there’s nothing quite so hard as performing closeup in front of a skeptical crowd. So I’ll give The Douchefreak his due on that front. I’ve been to “The Magic Castle” here in Hollywood. MagicBags deserve a little wiggle room within their performative douchosity.

But enough is enough.

Running around town like a cross between Tommy Lee, the half-price bin at Urban Outfitters, and a blender set on “puree”? Douche.

Hitting on skanky celebs to get your name in the paper? Uberdouche.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Half of the site’s title is “Hot Chicks” and yet here’s a picture of she whom makes Anna Nicole’s corpse appear erudite. But I’m going with it. Because nobody inspired more underage fantasies in 1999 than Ms. Spears. In many ways, she’s the 21st Century Yasmine Bleeth. She messed with the douchebags, and she got Bleethed.

So here’s to you Douchefreak. May you continue to spread your greasy douche stains from Malibu to Silverlake. Or more to the point, may you slip on a puddle of hair gel and have your Siegfrieds Royed.

# posted by douchebag1

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