Wednesday, August 22, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: The Greaseheads


Grease heads. Grease heads.
Douchey Smooshey Grease Heads.
Grease heads. Grease heads.
Wash them off. Yuck.

Give it up to the Greaser Twins for taking what was a surprisingly close and tight vote. And by close and tight, I mean Jenny. Because… yeah, you don’t need me to finish that one.

Supreme ‘bagslayer darksock tosses out one of those time delayed Emo Phillips smackdowns with the following:

Gotta be Greaseheads, only because the guy on the left is named Lou Brickhater and the guy on the right is named Dick B. Shynen.Think about it and get back to me…

The very sad sad also makes the case that Grease is the word, and that word is douche:

Greaseheads take it for me. The very thought of their toxic spikes injecting poison in the lovely Ukrainian babe’s brain makes my heart weep for what will become of her hopes and dreams in the new world. Just-got-out-of-bed mohawk greashead and his shiney purple tie with matching hankie and matching shiney grease face are enough to make me wonder how long it’s been since I last saw someone wearing something from Structure. What, is he the MC of the Greasedouche Gala?

Yes, I believe he is indeed the MC of the Greasedouche Gala. Well done, semi-anonymous Sad.

But while the Greasers slipped out their win, second place was the S.O.D., who found much revulsion for his combo hott + douche-face. The erudite and ‘bagalicious douche ellington brings the Zen in his breakdown before casting in with the SODomite:

If I’m truly to consider the boobie Yang to the douchie Yin (or is it the other way around?), The S.O.D just barely edges out Jenny and the Vanilla Icedouche, and blows away the Greaseheads. Why, you ask? The foundation of the Yin/Yang concept lies in pure balance, and the S.O.D has it in spades. Her near-perfect smile is offset by his “blue steel” pout. His cock hat, dog tags and “I’m trying too hard to be a Silverlake hipster” T-shirt are offset by two glorious mammaries that would have started wars in earlier times.

Well done, D.E. the cox agrees with the case for the S.O.D:

SOD gets my vote, as he looks to be about to spring forward and kiss the camera. Knees slightly bent, torso aimed forward, and literally too frightened to continue, should he pop out of the screen cover me with grease and cod-slobber! And his girl is the best of Bleeths, imho…

But Jenny found some love in spite of cohabitating with an arthritic unemployed housepainter. As eric estradouche lays it down for white-boys doing gang signs:

Tough call between SOD and Carl. I want Randy “the Macho Man” Savage to walk into the frame and rip SOD’s kissy lips off, but the sheer douchiosity of Carl waring his 5 foot long neck chain and throwing up a gang sign when he is whiter then hottie boob flesh all while displaying a smirk that I wish I could see Jenny slap off his face makes him this week’s winner.

But bagglio ordonez takes a baseball bat to the Greasers for the Weekly Victory:

The Greeseheads on the other-hand… everytime I seen them I just imagine them pouring vats of Salon Selectives gel and hairspray on their mops in order to scupt the perfect douche-spikes for their big night on the town. Somebody in the bar get a mop… people are dancing here and they’re going to hurt themselves.

Greeseheads get my vote.

And so we put on toxic gloves and gingerly raise their two scrotey jerseys to the rafters. For oil slicks proved triumphant, and their hottie boils all of our pancakes and fries our eggs.

Excellent work as always in the comments threads, as always. And, as always, it’s time for a celebratory bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

# posted by douchebag1

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