The 99 Cent Double Doucheburger
So yesterday I went to McDonalds to have lunch.
While I occasionally enjoy an egg McMuffin, I hadn’t had a burger there in months. I plunked down my hard earned dollar and bought a double cheeseburger.
What I received from my barely conscious cashier was terrifying. That steaming putrid pile of oozing, possibly conscious, rancid ostridge ass smelled like a Tijuana footlocker. The soggy pale bread, cheese, meat and plastic wrapper had merged electrons, protons and douchetrons into one lukewarm ball of tri-processed lung phlegm.
I took it outside and regarded it in the sunlight.
That 99 cent oozing puddle of yak spew formed one pancake flat circular orb of inedible rat puke. It was an inedible monstrosity that mocked the entire concept of consumption. The entre notion of cash exchange for sustenance in a market based economy. All within one microwave processed plastic semi-organic living art testament to a culture of McRot.
Why bring up my soggy-ass and depressing double cheeseburger from yesterday?
Because Skinny McDoucheburger here reminds me of that cheeseburger. Only 99 cents and I want my money back.
