Friday, October 12, 2007

Ask DB1

Confused in Cali writes in:

—–
Dear DB1:

Do you know if there has been any research done to show whether a douchebag actually knows he is a ‘bag? I have heard it said that if you think you are crazy you are actually sane, so how does that apply to douchebags? And secondly, do the hot chicks that are with ‘bags know that they are with a ‘bag?

Sincerely,

Confused in Cali
—–

It is safe to say that cognitive functions among the higher level douchescrotes operate at only a base and primitive instinctual reaction state. Like a goldfish. A retarded goldfish. Named Lenny.

However there is always the potential for douche awakenings, like in that movie with DeNiro in the coma. Unfortunately it requires the participation of the Hottie in the recovery process. The twelve steps of de-douchification that a hottie/douchey couple can participate in will be detailed in my forthcoming book from Simon & Schuster in May. And yes, that’s another shameless plug.

I will now eat a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

# posted by douchebag1

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