Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ask DB1: Kissy Lips

stevex writes in:

—–
Dear DB1:

Could you explain why douchebags always make kissy lips when being photographed? Are they tasting their own sourness? Is there a collective unconscious douche bank in their brains that tells them all how to behave?

Inquiring minds need to know.
-stevex

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Being a ‘bag is hard, stevex. So much pressure to gel up the chest hair. Turn yourself orange. Appear “Gangsta” tough at all times.

Sometimes the ‘bag just wants to display affection. Love. Sincerity.

Since impressing the hott gives him little opportunity for such outward displays of affection (outside of the arm-lock and dual hand gestures maneuver), the Kissy Lips become one way the douche can say, “Hey, I might be wearing a mandana and muscle-t shirt displaying my ginormous tribal tatt. But I love you.” And I mean that in the abstract, not about 60s Swingerbag and his generibuddy, pictured here sandwiching a Malaysian Paprika.

So the Kissy Lips is that moment when a scroteface can let his guard down. When they’re telling you they love you. Is that so wrong?

Why yes. I suppose it is.

# posted by douchebag1

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