Saturday, October 20, 2007

Ass Pimples


Ever get hit in the face with a frying pan, and that cartoon “boing” wobble sound gets made? Me neither. But if I ever got hit in the face with a frying pan, that’s the noise I would expect.

That sort of wobbling saw noise. If I were to linguisticize the sonics, it would go:

ba-yung-yung-yung-yung.

That’s what it feels like staring at these two ridiculous hemorrhoidic ass pimples.

ba-yung-yung-yung-yung.

I know. It’s Saturday. I’m supposed to go light with the pics today. Especially after a run of some pretty choice hottie/douchey couplings over the last week. But hell. I’m about to get on a treadmill and work off last night’s steak, so I need something to piss me off and get me motivated.

These Ass Pimples are like crack for the anger soul. I’m gonna release a workout tape based on this principle. “Sweatin’ to the Douchies.”

I know these clowns have been featured before on the site. Is that The Crustacean, our Monthly Winner and douche-partner of fellow sea faring creature, Fish Slap? Or are they all looking the same at this point? And does that make me a douche-racist?

I can’t tell if Aqua Brunette is true hott, but from what I can tell, she’s workout worthy. White is in that awkward mid 20s stage between college and “young soccer mom.” Don’t buy the SUV just yet, Future Soccer Mom. First ditch the Ass Pimples and come have a drink with The DB1.

I promise to offer you cheap wine out of a corkless bottle and served in a plastic cup. Hey, it may not be much, but at least I’m not those ass pimples.

# posted by douchebag1

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