Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Ask DB1


Gaius Douchius Caesar writes in:

—–
Dear DB1,

Is it possible for a douchebag to be redeemed and come back as a fully functional member of society?

I ask because I recently learned that an old drinking buddy of mine in school that I’ve long since lost touch with has recently been sighted again but in full douchebag attire (replete with receding hairline-concealing mandana, self-satisfied smirk, and unnecessary flexing for the camera to impress the hott) in the depths of the Dirty Jerz.

Is there hope? Or should we just take the easy path of sneaking pictures of him in action and making fun of them?

Gaius Douchius Caesar
—–

There is always hope, GDC. Both within the scrote and even within the bleethed out hott. And yes, even within a group that dresses up as homoerotic warriors from the movie 300.

The process of de-douchification is a long one. It involves twelve key steps a hottie/douchey couple must take together. The specifics of the Twelve Step process will be outlined in my book, and will detail the methodological purge of the Goose and the Gel from the ‘bag/hott couple.

So do not give up, GDC. Your old drinking buddy may indeed still return from the land of douchescrotery at some future date. But, in the interim, send me the pics and we’ll mock his assy face and lust after his hottie’s clavicles. Because mocking means we care. And by care I mean don’t care.

# posted by douchebag1

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