Wednesday, November 7, 2007

HCwDB of the Week: Jack Scrotington


It was a landslide for the skeezy cornrowed ambiguously D.J. animated Tim Burton skeleton douche.

As supreme ‘bag hunter darksock sums up the case for the scary white boy with paid hotts:

Most definately Jack Scrotington. Look at this fecal goiter. Unlike the other two goobs, this guy makes the urge to commit homicide rise like the Pillsbury Doughboy trapped in a microwave. I want to jap slap him repeatedly with a fish net filled with treble hooks and then fingercuff him with a dremel and a concrete slab core sampler.

I don’t even understand that fantasy torture sequence, which means it must be good. Or, as eradicatoor puts it:

Scrotington for sure. His hotties are paid for, but his baggery is the real deal. The only reason you could get away with not voting for him is the possibility that he’s Peter Stormare.

The legend that is Stormare will never be mocked as ‘bag on this site. He is pure nihilist genius.

That being said, the boobies of the Boobie Sun God found their worshippers. And by worshippers I mean boobie lovers. As jessemoya puts it:

BOOBIES SUN GOD FTW.

This isn’t even a competition this week. Bleethed from the neck down, burnt onto my retinas from the neck up. She’s… dare I say perfect?

I agree, Jesse. And poor Species Killer came in a distant third as rampant suspicions of Halloween ‘baggery undercut the purity of his ur-douche. This is Jack’s day to scrote. As rev. douche sings the hymns:

I vote Jack. Of all three he looks the most sinister and filthy in his douchebaggery. The Hotts may be Notts but he inspires more vitriol than Unassuming Scrote (Sun God looks too fake and pressurized for me) and the possibly-faking-it Killer, whose Boob-wielder looks as trough-style as his sloppy pink shirt.

Jack Scrotington it is. Raise his skeletal frame as this week’s winner, and punch his 12 frames per second Hanna-Barbera head a ticket in the finals.

# posted by douchebag1

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