Thursday, November 8, 2007

Hijinks Ensue


This commingling doesn’t need my deconstruction. I need a pinch ‘bagger.

Like one of those poorly worded one-sentence movie summaries written by a low wage flunky that pop up on your cable menu when you’re scrolling around the channels.

You know the ones.

They reduce films to inarticulate little blobs of reductive summary. Trite, often plot point ruining blurbs of simplified word strings of near nonsensical overview. Offensive to any real understanding of the film in question.

Like when you flip the channel to Citizen Kane and the description on your DirectTV reads: Story about a newspaper magnate who misses his childhood. Or 2001 becomes: A ship finds a strange black object in the future.

Even worse is when they summarize some mediocre contemporary comedy, and actually, unfathomably, make it even worse. Along Come Polly summed up as: When a risk assessment recently married man (Ben Stiller) runs into a wacky woman (Jennifer Aniston), hijinks ensue.

Hijinks ensue. Don’t they always?

I think we should hire those flunkies to summarize all of our lives in short bursts of inarticulate prose. I look forward to being Angry guy who hates douches but loves boobies.

Which, come to think of it, pretty much does sum it up. If I saw that on my DirectTV, I’d be like, yeah, that actually captures the essence right there.

# posted by douchebag1

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