Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ask DB1: Nature or Nurture

Tripping the Lights Douchetastic writes in:

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DB1-

In the continuing quest to determine if douchosity is the product of nature or nurture, has there ever been an empirical study of the timing of the onset of douche-itude?

Are there baby douchebags? Child douchebags?

Or are douches the product of modern culture or bleethed out mamas?

I must know.
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In grappling with this question, TLD, I’d have to side with “nurture” as the key formative influence in early douchal development. While it is true that some are inherently douchey no matter their time and place, by and large it is about environment.

Learning how to acquire the key cultural signifiers to attract the hott to his oily pecs and overly quaffed hair, the young ‘bagling must become indoctrinated within the larger codes of habitus.

As I’ve remarked many times before, each of us, male or female, contains the inherent force known as The ‘Bag Within. It is not dictated by genetic design, nor even extensive Red Bull and Grey Goose consumption in Cancun. The young ‘bagling must be guided down the dark path through the causality of douche attributes (douchetributes) and the attainment of the boobie hottie.

Only whence learning these lessons, does ‘bagling harden into fully formed ‘bagscrote.

# posted by douchebag1

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