Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Ask DB1: The Appeal of the STDs


snarky writes in:

—-
I just had a very disturbing conversation with a female friend of mine. I was partaking in the insanity known as the Hall of Scrote STDs (The Stereodouchtonic Twins) and I sent her a link with the picture of these double pile of elephant scrote. and her response:

“damn! they’re freakin hot!”

And after a 30 minute conversation she could not see the douche forest for the STD trees.

This begs the question on everyone’s minds: why do women go for this ridiculous douchetrocities we see in every night club or tanning parlor in this country?

Your thoughts?
—-

You have touched on the eternal meta-question of our times, Snarky.

The answer lies within the notion of intersecting mass media cultural capital as a market based mechanism recontextualizing sexuality as commodity. The Douche acquires name brand status as a result of glossy men’s magazines, overt preening and next-generation Top Gun by way of the Spartans in 300‘s homoerotic reprocessing into heterosexual viability. Subculture erotics rebranded as mass culture product.

The hott understands that the douche carries with them the stamp of class value through encoded referents and signifiers within dress, hair gel, body odor, etc. Sexual desire simply manifests within the primal pull of the culturally validated “other.”

The Hott seeks the douche because she seeks herself as refracted back to her. Distorted through a post-modern lens of name brand echo. A store-bought simulacrum, if you will.

We must save the hott by exposing the construction they become trapped in. We must teach the hott through enlightenment. And, most importantly, we must stare at her boobies. Because they are large and firm.

By questioning our societal construct through the dialectic of mocking the holy hell out of the douches and lusting after their hotts, we find truth. Because by making fun of them, we help ourselves. And, most importantly, we make fun of them. Because they suck.

# posted by douchebag1

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