Monday, December 17, 2007

HCwDB of the Year: Bracket 3

Bracket #3 (scroll down to vote in Brackets #1 and #2):

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #7: The Trainwreck


The Trainwreck won The Monthly back in early August, and the surreal ridiculousness of his escapades remain burned into our collective psyche.

The Doggie ‘Bag. One of the most disturbing of the douchological developments of 2007.

She is cheap KMart jammie pants hott.

I love her mock surprise. And suckable abs. She is delectable.

He is one of the great choads of this, or any other, Douchie year.

The Goose, Gatorade (no, not that Gator) and spilled chicken, as well as that wristdana, take this pic to the next level of surrealism.

Celebrate it.

And by celebrate it, I mean stare at it in abject horror.

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #8: Fish Slap


What more can be said about the legend of Fish Slap? The Slapster appeared sporadically on the site throughout February and March before finally winning the Monthly back in May.

We’ve seen him impersonating gladiators from the movie 300.

We’ve seen him shirtless enough times to make us want to gouge our corneas out with a rusty fork.

Always with cuties by his side, the ‘Slap maintains the concentration of higher conscious Zen uber-scrote.

Note 10 Degree Hat Tilt. Stubble. Annoying bling.

And a face worthy of slapping with a dead fish.

Angular Hott is far too innocent to be featured with Fish Slap. Then again, our whole society is far too innocent. Or is it? Perhaps we are all guilty.

HCwDB of the Year Finalist #9: The Creeper

The Creeper’s alien tongue and sexy Swedish mamacita have faded from view, and he probably doesn’t stand much chance in the Yearly.

But a Monthly winner he was.

And so he gets his due.

That pink paisley shirt is pretty great though.

And by great, I mean douchey.

Very, very douchey.

Now you’ve reviewed the nine Monthly winners, and are wondering, “Whither, Gator?”

The Gator, as a professional douche (and Z-list celebrity), will be getting a special Douchie award this year. As such, his leathery visage is not eligible for the Yearly. It was a tough decision, but the Academy of Douchological Sciences have ruled — no celebs for the Yearly.

So them’s your choices.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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