Friday, December 21, 2007

HCwDB of the Year: The Joey Porsche Experience


It wasn’t even close.

The mighty Fish Slap and the powerful Donkey Douche have fallen.

And while this award is supposed to summon the Zen totality of both the hottie and the ‘bag in communion, the power of the Joey Porsche Experience was enough of a singularity to carry him all the way to Supernova.

However, J.P. does appear to have a regular hott, she is the blonde minx who makes periodic appearances with him. And so I have included her in the award winning pic.

A well deserved and final 2007 Douchie Award for HCwDB of the Year goes to… The Joey Porsche Experience.

And while there were many great hottie/douche combos this year, JPE proves himself transcendent.

And by transcendent, I mean really freakin’ douchey.

To recap the entire list, your 2007 Douchie Award Winners are:

Hottest Hott of the Year: Pajama Choad’s Hott

Smells Like Poo: Tatman Begins

Best Golden Globes: Boobies Spake Zarathustra

Most Annoying New Douche Move: Pointing. At. His. Abs.

Douchiest Joey Porsche Wannabe: Johnny Blaze

Most Trashcan to the Head Worthy: The Bells

Most Expensive First Date Hott: Strawberry Cheesecake

Douchiest Twins: Stereodouchetonic Twins

Douchiest Band of the Year: Buckcherry

Douchiest Group Scrote: The Douche Platoon

Spikiest Hair: Douchsplosion

Best DB1’s Future Ex-Wife Hott: Purg Hottie

Douchiest Everybag: Ricky

Most Polluted HCwDB Couple: The Chestnut Trees

The Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award: The Gator

Douchiest Popped Collar: Pinky

Douchiest Celebrity Couple: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren

Greatest Crisis of Modernity: The Long Journey

Orangest Orange: The Prompas

Sexiest Librarian Glasses: Scrotey Opie’s Hott

Hottest Girl-Next-Door Hott: Clay Wankin’s Hott

Hottest Innocent Getting Greasetackled: Chandlerbag and the Bumper

Most Annoying ‘Bagling: White By Unpopular Happenstance

Douchiest Superhero: The Batbag

In Memoriam: Pumpy

Great work to all who participated in the brilliant comments threads, votes, opinions and a special shout-out to the regulars, both commentators and ‘bag hunters, who keep the site filled with hottie/douchey energy on a daily basis.

It’s Friday, The Douchies are over, and your humble narrator on all things ArmaniExchange/Cleavite, The DB1 is in New York preparing to get wrecked and save a hottie or three. So I tip my cup of Night Train and congratulate all of our 2007 Douchie Winners. It’s time to start drinkin’.

# posted by douchebag1

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