Monday, December 3, 2007

The 2007 Douchies


Yes kids, the 2007 Douchies are rapidly approaching.

The Best of the ‘Baggiest. The scrotiest of the foul. That most glamorous of end of year awards shows. Think the Emmys, with a herp sore and boobies. When the most triumphantly halibut smacking of greasy couplings that smell like poo that we’ve examined over the past year are singled out for special, and by special I mean poo, recognition.

But first I need your help.

Which pictures from the past year are most deserving of a Douchie Award?

These can be specific pics with one attribute worthy of recognition, even if the overall pic isn’t a Weekly Winner or Hall of Scrote caliber.

We will consider Douchie Awards for both Hott and ‘Bag in separate categories, including:

For the ‘Bags:

Spikiest Hair
Cheesiest Bling
Douchiest Douche-Face
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver
Most Annoying Hand Gesture
Most Annoying ‘Baglings
Orange
Surrealist Dada Douche
Greatest Crisis of Modernity
Smells Like Poo
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy
Douchiest Popped Collar

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott
Hottest Girl-Next-Door
Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled
Sexiest Librarian Glasses
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon
Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself
Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch
Best DB1’s Future Ex-Wife Hott
Most Expensive First Date Hott
Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette)

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple
Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel
Douchiest Superhero Combo
Worst Polluted ‘Bag/Bleeth

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year.

And finally, we’ll be handing out the Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award to someone special.

But before we get there, and instead of the Weekly this week, I need your help. This is your chance to chime in on which couples should win one of these hallowed awards. And for the actual “award,” I’ll be drinking a half-flat can of PBR and burping congratulations to each winner in Esperanto.

Which pics stayed with you over the past year? Help me to nominate a pic for any one (or all) of the categories I’ve listed, or just mention an overlooked favorite and suggest a category.

You are the Academy, people.

Start nominatin’.

# posted by douchebag1

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