Monday, January 28, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

This week’s selections of hott/choad wrongness taste like flat Mr. Pibb filtered through a lace stocking and transformed into a Hott Toddy.

Part boobcoholic. Part turdscendant. Yep. The DB1 is off his meds and referring to himself in the third person. So shoot me. I spent the weekend chasing Hollywood Hotts through Jackie Treehorn’s party until a cop arrested me and told me to stay out of Malibu. At least I think that was me.

But, lest I continue grunting and blinking like a paralyzed French editor of Elle Magazine, here’s your finalists:

PIC DELETED

There’s been much discussion of whether to discount the PTP (Paid to Pose) Hotts when considering the merits of a hottie/douchey pic’s worth.

I haven’t made an official ruling. I’m inclined to agree that PTPers downgrade the wrongness factor a full two f-stops. Which loses crucial details on a slow speed Kodak grease moment.

Then again, when a choad’s robotic jaw, shiny head and hair that resembles dystopian hellfire from a late enlightenment oil painting congregate next to two gazumbas of mellonic juicyfruit perfection, there’s trouble in them there tribbles.

Megods, that last sentence just made English teachers across the nation do a Jerry Lewis spit take.

I blame my public school education.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Boobermensch


Wednesday’s Haiku offers us a boob of superior philosophical perfection.

What Nietzsche describes as the “Boobermensch.”

The perfect post-moral state of boobal perfection.

Then there’s MTV Trip Hop Tree Hugga ‘Bag.

He’s not the worst we’ve ever featured. Almost one of the cool stoner dudes from the quad you’d hang with during 11th grade lunch. But the tri-vag chin pubes just punched an Asian orphan named Wong Fei-Hung in the ballsack.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Frosted Flake

With a Hott Toddy of boobcoholic hott, and a run-of-the-mill choad, The Frosted Flake actually offers a pic that’s more than the sum of it’s parts.

Something about this couple just cries out for intervention.

And, at its core, that’s what every great HCwDB pic offers.

The desire for all of us to collectively separate them for the good of humanity.

But really, what it comes down to is boobies. Boobies I’d suckle, grope and fondle like a panda jacked on Red Bull. Boobies I’d take plaster of paris impressions of, and then make bagel and creamcheese paperweights.

So which of the three is our weekly winner? That’s up to you.

To celebrate the official entry of quartasian into the Urban Dictionary (next stop, Websters), cast your vote for one of these three HCwDB couples.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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