Monday, January 7, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: Hangover Edition

Props once again to all who participated in the 2007 Douchie Awards for the brilliant comments threads and for voting. I think we did pretty good sorting the 2007 douche from the chaff, no?

Well today is the day we gear it up again.

Today’s the day we begin 2008 ‘Bag Hunting. Our attempts to once again answer that age old question: Is she really going out with him? Why does she look sweet and why does he look like a day-glo peacock dipped in poo? How did this wrongness happen?

Here are your finalists for the first 2008 HCwDB Combo of the Week:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Gabehcuod


Legend has it that it took director Stanley Douchebrick over 90 takes just to get Gabehcuod’s expression just right.

But that’s what you expect from a cinematic Master. Attention to douchetail.

Making sure every pattern shaved into the head matches the original descriptions in the Steven King novel, The Douching.

And poor Wendy. Give me the ‘bag, Wendy. Give me the ‘bag!

Her body has the health and vigor of a teenage farm girl in the Swiss Alps in the 1930s.

I have nothing else to add except three ring fingers.

Three ring fingers for the spawn of Pumpy/Gator wrongness. Gross.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Whale Squirts

PIC DELETED

Rarely do we get such fantastic pale cleavite enhanced side-boob on a Hott, and a shirtless douche wearing a white silk tie and with inverted Mark of the ‘Bag on his forehead grease.

Overlooked by many is the adorable brunette getting crushed in the whale squirt sandwich.

She has the bright wide eyes of hope. She has the meaty arms I would suck on with vampiric intensity and shock treatment muscle spasm.

Even Aunt Mae is cute. The Whale Squirts are a worthy finalist indeed.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Jacques


Aside from the Finding Nemo cleaner shrimp reference, which I was particularly proud of, Jacques answers the fans who want older and swarthier ‘bags to be featured on the site more often.

And Ariel brings the early 30s sexiness in a way that is always appreciated.

Ariel proves that a great smile can zombify shrimp and turn them into creepy leering douchepuds.

So them’s your three.

Which of these three pics srikes you as most worthy of winning the Weekly?

Remember to take into account both the hottness of the cutie, and the doucheyness of the tool.

Both. In mix.

In swirl.

In wrongness.

Is it Gabehcuod, The Whale Squirts, or Jacques?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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