HCwDB of the Week: The Whale Squirts
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In the first Weekly of 2008 it was a close vote between the Whale Squirts and Gabehcuod, but the Squirts pulled it out.
ted theodore scrotgan makes the case:
jaques is a dirty old ‘bag for sure, and the hulking maze-head gabehcuod is certainly deserving as well; but the squirts take the poo cake.
unbuttoned shirt is bad enough, but WITH a tie? and the shine off that scrote’s forehead is reminescent of the aurora douchiealis.
and that’s not even taking into account the scrubby side kick with the greasy mullet-turdhawk hair style. welcome to ’08, hunters. i have seen the future, and it is douchey.
Well said, Ted. And ron tugnut agrees:
I’m giving it to the Squirts. You know that entire room is full of them, and that poor brunette looking out at the world as if to say ‘is this really all there is…world?’ Great HCwDB tension in this one. It’s a classic. Chances are the choads are going to end up with each other.
But the horror film warning that is “Gabehcuod” also found support. As bagwagger puts it:
Gabehcuod has Bedazzled jeans. Having to resort to spangles to draw attention to your nether regions — shudder — is the height of douchetude. I have navigated the Fun Pad maze on his overly small head, and at the end of the road was the only possible HCwDB winner of the week: Gabehcuod. (Five rings? FIVE RINGS?)
Bedazzled jeans. I think I tried to block those out.
Poor Jacques, the cleaner shrimp came in a distant third, although creature uses the laugh factor to cast in with his net:
Jacques (pronounced Shjaw-quess) for he is the subtle, suave, strike on the stealth type douche that perverts & soils our hotts on the highest levels. Jacques smoothly slimes & stalks the corridors of the more respectable hott’hunting grounds (not Da’ clubs) oozing his oily charms infecting our most desireable hottts with his charm masked douche.
Well said, Creature. But this is the Squirts day to shine. And by shine, I mean shine. As no country for old douchebags succinctly puts it:
For me its got be whale squirts. That cleavite is mana from heaven sent to us to show no matter how douche it can get the hots will always be hots.
Thank God for that.
Thank God indeed.
Great comments and votes all around, promising a healthy round of ‘bag hunting in the new year. So lets raise the Whale Squirts to the victor’s circle. They are our first HCwDB Weekly Winner of 2008, and we’ll see their douched up foreheads and those hott boobies again in the Monthly.
