Monday, January 21, 2008

Honorary Douchebag of the Month: Adnan Ghalib


Adnan Ghalib, man-whore to broken down former pop stars, technically doesn’t qualify for this site since he doesn’t actually cohabitate with hottness.

But looking at this pic of scrotal antimatter in action, there was no way I could ignore him any longer.

For prancing about town with every signifier of cutting edge 2008 Douchery — from the landing strip chin pudes to the multiple rosary bead Jesus Bling — Adnan gets a well deserved 2008 Honorary Douchebag of the Month.

While it’s true he’s not penning pseudo-emo articles defending his douchery and making false claims to a deeper complexity, (::hack hack: ::John Mayer:: ::cough hack::), Adnan’s spectacle deserves note.

If we analogize The Lohan, The Simpson and The Spears as former supernovas of hott now burned out into husks of red dwarf detritus floating in the celebu-sky, then turds like Adnan Ghalib are the douche moons in orbit within their dying, decaying universes. Former solar systems of spectacular gravitational pull, now reduced to pop culture entropic burnout. Previously white hott burning streaks of light now pulsing in spectral fade like priasmic color swirl. Dimly flickering fadeouts in a distant corner of a rapidly realigning constellation tabloid sky shift.

As one of the many satellites of douchery orbiting the broken down psychological trainwrecks of early 2000s former celebuhotts like Britney Spears, Adnan Ghalib deserves the Federline Award.

Even Stephen Hawking would type out “douchebag” in a staccato electronic voice synthesizer to explain the physics at work in this abomination of humanity.

Suck it, Adnan. Have an Honorary HCwDB of the Month, and enjoy the last few moments of refracted glory within the dim, flickering flameout reentries of the 2003 Class of Hott. The landing will be hard, cold, and in a forest somewhere in the midwest.

# posted by douchebag1

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