Monday, January 28, 2008

Shirtless Moby Dick


I believe it was the great American novelist Herman Melville who first described the link between the basic primal hunt for oil that drives human conquest of nature, and the destruction it causes:

Not a gallon you burn, but at least one drop of man’s blood was spilled for it.

Human douche grease functions much in the same way.

It is produced not simply by the scrote fish that patrol the deepest recesses of clubland. It is not simply the byproduct of plankton, seawater and Axe Bodyspray. Douche oil emerges from the skin of Flipper McChoad as part of a complex economic exchange system in a larger ecosystem.

The lace hotts gather to the grease flame like 19th century whale fishermen. Dazzled by the economic and culture impact it signifies.

Now if only we had a harpoon gun, I could end this strained metaphor.

# posted by douchebag1

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