Monday, February 4, 2008

HCwDB of the Month

We had two, count ’em two, Weekly winners called back due to Puss Penalties on behalf of the ‘bags in the pics, leaving two runners-up to fill in for the Monthly. That being said, this is still a tough vote, as there’s no clear favorite.

Once again I turn it over to you. Which of these four Weekly winners has just the right mix of noxious douchey bile and sexy boobie hott to call itself a Monthly Champion?

That, my fellow ‘bag hunters, is up to you.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: Gabehcuod

“Gabehcuod” was found on his typewriter, typed out in various patterns, before Wendy had to go running through the brush patterns in his hair.

Yup.

That’s the story of how Gabehcuod got his name.

Redrum, indeed.

Wendy has that sexy late 20s girl-next-door thing going, if you live in Vienna, with a killer body that used to be the gardener of the estate, and has always been the gardener.

Note Gabecuod’s use of the rare ‘bag hand gesture, The Stomach Possession (#204).

He is marking her womb area as his territory.

Very, very douchey.

Add in three rins per hand, roided up muscles, and the douche-face, and it’s par excellance of ‘baggery. And side boob.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: The Brick


Brick.

Brick lies on ground.

Brick evolves basic motor functions.

Brick grows arms and legs.

Brick becomes ambulatory.

Brick discovers tanning booth and muscle contests.

Brick grows stubble.

Brick finds brunette hott with which to prove his manhood.

Brick wears yellow bikini underwear.

Brick wins HCwDB of the Week.

But is it enough to win the Monthly?

Only Brick knows.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: Wally Playah

This is tough one for Wally Playah to win.

While he’s strong enough for a Weekly, his small-town standard douchosity is likely not enough to overcome the others.

Or could he be the underdog that could? The New York Giants of douchebaggery?

Perhaps.

Alls I know is Small Town Cornfed has one of the great bodies of this, or any other, online gawking session.

I would suckle her lambchop legs like a hungry zombie in a George Romero film.

I would do things.

Many things. To her. That she would mildly enjoy, while nostalgically remembering an ex-boyfriend who was better.

HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: The Boobermensch

Boob.

And a boob.

The understated douche factor on tri-pube face was not given its due on the first go-around for this couple.

Granted he doesn’t have any excessive hand gestures, hair or bling. Nor does he make the douche-face.

And the shirt really isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things. Kinda stylish.

But her boob is carved from Granite by a the left hand of Michaelangelo and the right hand of God.

And so the Boobermensch is weighted to the hott scale. But do not underestimate those facial pubes.

They are rank.

So which one of the four is our Monthly winner?

That, my friends, is up to you.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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