Friday, March 21, 2008

Ask DB1


Simon writes in:

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Dear Douchebag1,

First, let me say I am a huge fan of you and your site. You are providing a long overdue service to society. Like Shakespeare himself, you are utilizing recycled stories – in this case douchey pictures – that elicit universal human reactions, and attaching your own unique written composition to them. Kudos!

That being said, I have been debating whether or not to commit suicidouche.

I am not a douche bag, but I have certainly had some weak moments in my life when I have been captured in HCwDB worthy photos. I am torn as to whether or not I should purge my soul and send you some of these pictures.

Your thoughts?
—-

The first part of any healing process is admitting you have a scrotal grease problem. As you can tell by my moniker, every male on earth has douched it up in service of chasing the hott. It is part of any culture’s mating dance.

But this does not mean we can’t rise above our collective spectacle of media saturated club-poo and reach a higher consciousness. The first step, simply admitting your own prior greasebaggery, is perhaps the hardest. So kudos! You are on your way.

Secondly, yes, you must send me your pics. Through painful mocking, you will experience enlightenment. Just as beating your child will teach them to fetch you that beer, the mocking of the scrote is a form of negative reinforcement that, while painful, pays long run dividends.

# posted by douchebag1

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