Monday, March 3, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

Another tough Weekly to cull down our finalists to be the last Winner, and I by winner I mean wrong, before what’s shaping up to be an epic Monthly.

Your narrator on our philosophical/scatalogical journey, The DB1, had fondue yesterday, and so in honor of my bloated insides, here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Private School Hott

I’m fairly certain late 1980s Penthouse Forum Hott has appeared on this site before, but regardless, this pic was too good not to give a shot in the finals.

We have your standard Floridian Douchewank, tonguing it up with hat tilt and hand gesture.

And you have a sweet, slightly befuddled cutie, possibly taking the pic.

Rare is the pic taken by the hott of the ‘bag in action.

For her unintentional ‘bag capture, PSH gets major props. He gets major fish slaps.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks


HJBBAD is a troubling finalist in that our usual barometers of douchery lie in the visual, but now we have significant textual information to back up his case for uberscrote.

A second problem is the lack of visibility of the girl.

I was on the verge of bumping HJBBAD completely and putting him up for the Hall of Scrote directly, but then I thought we’d see if he can win a Weekly first. Like Ricky, I’m not sold that he’s HOS material, even for his epic genius in describing taint length as a disqualifier for a girlfriend.

Did HJBBAD’s scat-poetry raps drive you to distraction enough to pull that lever for him in the Weekly?

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Unnecessary Point


Sometimes the title of the pic just says it all, don’t it?

There’s a fratbaggery that is more annoying than the sum of its parts on Pointer.

And Pointee is everything you want in a state school sexy can-can of delight.

She is Sweet and Hott Pork. Innocent, yet drrty.

He is AXholic.

So them’s your three. Honorable mention to The ‘Bag Oilwich, and The Dripper, both of whom barely missed out. In fact I’m still not sure HJBBAD is a true Weekly contestant, but my insides are clogged and I drank too many PBRs last night.

So them’s your three. Three enter. Only one coupling of wrongness ascends.

Which will it be? That’s up to you.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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