Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The Doos


South Afrikan ‘Doo writes in with more on the spread of global douchebaggery:

—-
Howzit,

At least that’s what we say down here in the southern tip of Africa. I guess up there in the big ol’ US of A, it’s more of a Wazzup.

Hmmm, guess we don’t have that in common. What we do have in common though, is the stupendous amounts of douchebaggery that our two countries manage to produce.

Alas, as much as I’d love to analyze the reason behind the douche, it is not the reason for my writing. The reason, in fact, is to say unto you that the ‘douchebag’ as it exists in the American lexicon, does not so much exist here in the toenail of Africa. No. what exists here is far worse, far oilier, far more scrotum than what the west has managed to produce.

What we have is the Doos. ( pronounced dwoo-es ) Taken from the Afrikaans. It’s proper translation means box, it’s slang – an allusion to female genitalia.

Lekker.

South Afrikan ‘Bag
—-

I like “doos.” It sounds vaguely like douche, and I can picture the bad guys in Lethal Weapon II saying it, right before they offed the uberhottness that was Patsy Kensit. Before she took up with Liam Gallabag, and became Brit Bleethed.

Mmm… Patsy Kensit.

Because in America, we like our South Africans played by Brits and our Brits played by Americans.

Not sure why. Probably has something to do with colonialism, de Tocqueville and the crisis of identity in the age of modernity.

Or else we just can’t tell the diff.

# posted by douchebag1

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