Wednesday, April 9, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: Tighty Armani


At first it looked like this was The Yak’s week to puke on some boobies, but the sheer strength of Tighty Armani’s innovative shirt/bicep douche move, and utterly angelic blonde that he’s decided to headlock, were too much to overcome.

frozen orange douche lets loose with the primal id-scream:

Tighty Armani: DIE DOUCHEBAG DIE!!! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!!!! DEATH BY A THOUSAND ICEPICKS!!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Tighty Armani FTW.

First reactions, especially ones like this, are often a good barometer of a winning hott/douche pic. Or, as the everpresent anonymous tunes in:

Tighty Armani shows a disturbing new trend. With biceps like that, there’s a new sub-genre of Doucheroidbags pawing (and likely crushing) the hotts. Bad enough when spindly hair-spiked orange-skinned eels grope the perfect female flesh. This is way scarier.

The biceps + tight designer shirt is indeed a new sign of the coming douchepocalpyse, and we should all be very scared. And Senn invokes the Holy Pumpy, in casting in with T.A.:

My vote goes to Tighty Armani, because beeing a huge fan of holy pumpy I always had something for Inflatadouches , that something beeing a urge to facestab , right between the tasteful chinstrap and the insulting grin.

Well said, Senn. But The Yak was a very close second, finding lots of support, and by support I mean hint of cleavite. As Johnny Scrotten puts it:

the yak.

this guy embodies a great quote from the irish playwright, george bernard shaw; “youth is wasted on the young”

GB Shaw should’ve added, “and boobies are wasted on the young hotts who choose douchefaces to hook up with.” At least, that’s how I would’ve written it. Because I’m like a GB Shaw echo.

Agreeing about the Yak is Idaho’s own idahohottpotato:

I vote for The Yak.

She is hot enough to make straight women consider a lesbian fling, and he is… poo.

Indeed, hottP. And the ever present anonymous hits the core of The Yak’s appeal:

I must vote for The Yak for 2 reasons. DB1’s Theory of the Hottie-Scrote Yin-Yang Polarity is put to the limits in this photo. He may not exhibit the highest amount of douche, but appears to be more of a Joe Six-pack who was infected with the Grieco. The fact that such a low-level douche can nestle between such voluptuous blond sweater cows makes me contemplate infecting myself with the Douche virus. And for that, I hate him.

Very well argued, Anon.

2001 lost out due to professional douchebaggery, and probably rightly so. I think I was distracted by the uberhotts and couldn’t resist giving those four oranges a chance in the finals.

As to my logic for disqualifying The Blowfish, the potential for gaybaggery is one disqualifier as the essence of every great HCwDB pic is the rage of douche/hott cohabitation. But it was also that The Blowfish’s mouth was just creeping me the hell out. That thing + the facial pubes, was just plain too disturbing to look at.

However, something tells me The Blowfish may just be in line for a 2008 Douchie Award. So don’t fret, ‘Fish fans. You’ll get additional mocking time down the road.

This week, it’s T.A. BaDouchus as our last entry for the Monthly. It is well deserved. As mary puts it:

Tighty Armani. Just for his dumb f@#king t shirt. Blondie is not looking at him, she’s doing her best to not inhale his Axe stink.

Exactly, Mary. And don’t forget: Chin strap. Megods, we live in a world with facial hair chinstraps. And sexy blondes who like them. If that ain’t hott/douche, I don’t know what is.

# posted by douchebag1

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