Monday, April 7, 2008

The Metaphysical Orange


Many of those training in the ‘bag hunting arts keep asking me, is this one of Joey Porsche’s crew? Or simply an anonymous orange oompa guido douche?

The answer, grasshoppers, is that this is the wrong question to ask.

A great parable for you to meditate on is what I like to call the “Police Academy Conundrum.” First posed in 1987, it is a classic example of false choice.

The debate centers around who was a sexier love interest for Steve Guttenberg’s Mahoney, Kim Cattrall in Police Academy, or Sharon Stone in Police Academy IV: Citizens on Patrol.

Each actress brought specific and unique thespian qualities to their performances as Cadet Karen Thompson and Claire Mattson, respectively.

To pick one is to create false choice, and thus false consciousness.

Remember the Police Academy Hott conundrum when contemplating the pursuit of meaning in examining the orange doucheface.

Whether this is a Porsche Disciple or not is the wrong question to ask. For it creates binary. It creates an inherent competitiveness within a framework of elimination that is not needed for enlightenment.

# posted by douchebag1

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