Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Velveteen Cold Sore


The Velveteen Cold Sore is a lesser known children’s folktale from 1890s northern Germany. Like other children’s tales of the period, The Young Girl Who Expressed Emotion and Was Butchered on a Slab and The Princess and The Sixteen Wolves who Took Sexual Advantage, times were definitely different in terms of imparting moral lessons to youth through parable. Those wacky late 19th century Germans.

As to the two suburban princesses, I would fly to the Comoros Islands and banter in Swahili to buy an ancient doll with magical powers that would conjure up a wacky series of impossible random events leading to my getting buried in a pit of quicksand with only their discarded mascara and a small Ukranian goat for comfort, just for the chance to sniff their discarded mascara.

But then I’d have to figure out what to do with that small Ukranian goat. I think I’ll name him Tim.

# posted by douchebag1

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