Wednesday, May 14, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: The Canker Twins


In a tight race between The Canker Sores and the absurdist photographic art that is Still Life with Coors Light, the Canks pulled it out to take the weekly. It’s gotta be the hair. As arkansas dave douchebaugh explains:

Canker twins and trim are like a bad scene from Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome. You know, the scene in the club with the bottles of Goose, clouds of axe spray and everybody was wearing fake contacts and cliche tattoos. The crowd was chanting “Two Douches enter, Canker Twins win!”

Beyond Thunderdome references always win. Pre-Jesus Mel Gibson. Good times.

I noted earlier that the only thing holding this pic back is the high Bleeth Factor in both of the former hotts. They are past the point of return, and even if boobie is still suckle thigh worthy, we must factor in the douchebaguette negatively when rating the pic. But let it bleeth explains why it’s still okay to vote Canker:

let’s literally face the situation at hand, all women pictured are bleeths, just a matter of what degree. because mindy and cindi are tougher than ther dates proves the canker twins claim the cheap but cherished atlantic city bordwalk gold necklaces for their weekly win.

Well put, LiB. But it’s still a vortex of wrong.

In second place, despite being a work of art, it seems the hott packin’ heat was too much for people to overlook in Still Life with Coors Light. clementine of cappadoucha decides to go with it:

Gotta go with Still Life. It is a chilling glimpse into the douche reich that we must all guard against. I am really, Really, REALLY disturbed by the hott’s codpiece, and really, Really REALLY distracted by her cleavage.

So are we all, CoC. And don explains why the power of the hott helps to form the concept of “douche” in casting a vote for the Preppy ‘Bag:

my vote goes for preppy. his hotty is HOT-T-T. i couldn’t give a crap about those other hotties, but she’s hot. if i saw her with him i’d think, “he’s a f@#king douchebag”. but, those other guys, i’d just think, “what f@#king losers”

It’s important for all of us to remember that the zen contradiction between boobie and choad is where truth is found. But Punky Douchester explains the win, and by win I mean fail:

Has to be the Cankers. Upon further inspection, I have to say, yes, these chicks are uber-Bleethed but they actually look like they *could* have been hot not that long ago. Yes, they are too far gone and even sharing the same room with them would require a spraying of Bactine, but you can see the ghost of hottness past if you inspect closely.

And Bill Doucheterive:

Canker Twins wins. So much scrote in one image, I’m surprised the camera was able to contain it all. The other two, after sifting through the archives, no longer fill me with shock and/or awe.

The Cankers may be a stronger entry in the Monthly than we think. Sure they’re going against newly minted Hall of Scrote winner Bra!!, but we’ve seen HoS members lose a Monthly before.

Anything can happen on Monday. And by anything, I mean simplex-C.

Give credit to the Canker Twins’ shaved heads and their Bleethed out hotts. This pic deserves recognition for all that is pooey.

# posted by douchebag1

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