Saturday, June 21, 2008

Ask DB1: Saving the Bleeth


Lonely ‘Bag Hunter writes in:

—-
Dear DB1,

Help!! I went to high school with a sweet sweet Asian girl who rocked my world when it came to trigonometry and could balance a complex chemical equation like a Ukrainian acrobat balancing a high wire.

We had lost touch over the past 6 years though, until she added me to facebook. I was excited to see what had become of my sweet friend so I checked out her pictures and was shocked to find this girl at the edge of bleethdom, surrounded by all sorts of douche! How do I save her and in the process reclaim what’s rightfully mine?!?! Help!

– Lonely ‘Bag Hunter
—-

The process of saving The Bleethed Out Hott is a complex one that requires patience and dedication to process. It is covered extensively in my book, being released on July 8th, but available for pre-order on Amazon.

The first step is to mock her choice of douchewankery with ironic sarcasm delivered from a safe distance. The second is to help reveal what is already in front of her — to make visible the douchery. What Heidegger describes as the philosophical effort towards the phenomenological.

In other words, render the structure of name-brand validation visible, and it will be like pulling back the curtain on the Wizard. She will see that what she desires is cultural capital rather than authentic, and the douche-poo will become seen.

However, with any late-stage Bleeth, we must also know when to walk away. When the douchebaguette can no longer be saved, and should instead be scourned. Judging by the pic you sent of her, she may sadly be lost.

# posted by douchebag1

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