Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ask DB1: The Business Scrote

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DB1-

How do I spot a DB in the work environment if I don’t
own a gym? I’m originally from northern Jersey ( the good part ) so I am very comfortable spotting ‘bags due to early exposure to their toxic society.

But I feel that unless they are in construction, car sales, or personal trainers you never see them in white collar positions- are they here? If so, where? In the business world, do they disguise themselves?

– J-Vol
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What you’re describing is the tagging of the white collar douche, or what those at the Smithsonian have labeled The Business Scrote.

While tagging a Business Scrote is harder than, say, tagging a Jerz Guid, it can still be done. But very rarely in the work environment itself. One must position one’s self in after-work hangouts to capture the Business Scrote in a moment of relaxation, and thus, revelation.

Once you’ve tagged a Business Scrote, wait until they turn to their buddy “Chet,” to discuss a hedge fund, then move in quickly to liberate the hott by casually mentioning your enjoyment of the songs of crooner Michael Bolton (mention you “celebrate his entire catalogue.”)

Unless they’re reading the Wall Street Journal. At that point, just kick them in the nads.

# posted by douchebag1

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