Monday, June 16, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

So your humble commentator on all things curvy/Preparation-H, The DB1, is in New York.

I’m reviewing the first hot off the presses copies of my book, and it looks amazing. Full color, 90% all new pics, and the design team did an amazing job. A coffee table memento of our cultural pushback against the douchescrote. Buy your copy here, and yes there will be more shameless pimping to come.

I’m also planning the book party in Las Vegas on July 19th, as well as some book signings where you can come out and see if the Ab Lobster shows up to kick my ass.

New York is muggy and beautiful, but the Librarian hotts are out in force. The DB1 sips his Night Train spiked coffee and surreptitiously follows them up 5th Avenue under Lil’ Head’s very poor advice.

With that being said, here are your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Butterday Night Fever aka The Douching Trough

Rare are the weekend pics that make the finals, but this weekend we have not one, but two, that are worthy.

When we return to the core of wrongness that defines this site, is not everything encapsulated in this one pic?

A lineup of hotts vying for attention from four heaping piles of douchescrote.

It’s enough to inspire the adult version of “Lady in the Water,” by M. Night Schlongalyan. Yeah, I just came up with that. I need a coffee.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Big Head / Lil’ Head

Even as I wrote yesterday’s masterful one-act play that evoked the pathos of early Sam Shepherd by way of the surrealism of Richard Foreman and the angst of Neil LaBute, Big Head / Lil’ Head, I don’t think I fully appreciated the wrongness of this pic.

Grillz.

Seriously, kids. Grillz.

Who the hell invented Grillz?

And while some may argue I’m objectifying women by lusting after a girl who is clearly Bleethed to the point of no return, I say to my critics, objectify? Did we objectify when the Nazis bombed Pearl Harbor?

Or something like that.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Metaphysical Hooligan

When the week began, we thought this coupling was a slam-dunk Weekly winner, and possibly a dominant Monthly as well.

Those odds are still in place, but there is tough competition.

Still, it’s hard to find a more punchable douche-mug than the Hooligan’s sneery face.

And Italian Pastry Hott is all that is cannoli of Venice.

And to whomever observed that Bra’s Star Tatt seems to have migrated to the Hooligan’s hair deserves a Douchie Award in December. Nice catch.

Dishonorable mention to The Swallows, who just missed the cut due to a little too much inflation on the hott.

But them’s your three, and only one coupling of wrongness may triumph.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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