Monday, June 30, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

There was much to choose from over the past two weeks while culling down the finalists. But this was also a breakthrough week for multimedia HCwDB.

There was both the brilliant I’m a Big Douche at the Scottsdale Bars YouTube, as well as the audio grease that is the Legendary Pickup Artist Scrotebag, Dimitri.

Methinks both are in line for 2008 Douchie Awards at the Douchies in December. It’s Monday morning, and while the DB1 nurses a nasty hangover, here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Gunter and Klaus

These two European chest shavers suggest all that is wrong in Bratwurst, while Sister Christian suggests all that is future Soccer Mom Hott in Scottsdale.

But for G&K, something in their smug expression just reeks of prune.

And the daring attempt by Gunter to affect the Patented Peaches Point deserves an additional serving of powdered scorn.

At fist I was worried that the Hott was a bit too nice girl to inspire lustful thoughts, but the more I stare, the more I’d gnaw some beef chaw just for the chance to spittoon some gak in the Old West near her great grandmother’s former cattle ranch.

Or something like that.

Hey, it’s Monday morning. My brain’s still a bit foggy.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Droopy McScrote

A classic in hott/douche wrongness.

Yes, I could elaborate further on those who sagg and cling to hip-hop wigga glory.

But do I need to?

You got the Droop.

You got the bling, tatts and hand gestures, complete with nerd-glasses and Houston Astros (?) hat tilt.

Then you’ve got Surfer Kelly, with the rock-hard abs and the strangest swatch of bikini bottom this side of Logan Five’s Sanctuary.

But what pushes this pic into greatness is that tiny swatch of red underwear above the cargo pants.

Stay classy, Droopy.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Preppiebags

Something about being transported back to a 1980s teen comedy, in which Teddy Beckerstead is teaming up with Ken from Bachelor Party was enough to set off our collective psyche douche-alarms.

Then there’s two lucious little cutes, and the wrongness is complete.

Irono-scrotery?

This issue comes up a lot.

But as many in the comments thread observed, even the ironic “Bar Golf” gag still requires the purchasing of aqua sweaters and tight pink pants that suggest the Alpha-Betas are planning another attack on the Tri-Lambda house.

But are the Golfbag Twins and their sweet suburban bar hotts enough to take the Weekly?

That, my friends, fellow ‘bag hunters and choice hotts, is up to you.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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