Thursday, June 12, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: Truman Coyote


Well it may be a day late and a boobie short, thanks to yesterday’s software freeze, but the votes are cast and the winner of a tough three-way competition was Truman Coyote and Legally Blonde Hott. ol’ dirty douchebag explains:

It’s all about the scrote this week so I can’t get distracted by the meatballs’ hott and by distracted I mean pink steel. It’s Truman over Dewey FTW. He is literally the scum of the earth.

Well put ODD. the bag queen agrees:

Coyote all the way. The swedouche meatballs are just pathetic, and the wheatstalk just isn’t all that full on himself. Coyote on the other hand is posing like he’s really something. And by something I mean bubonic-plagued rat vomit. I really dislike this guy. Like alot. And the hott is pure sweetness. This level of contrast is creating a rift in my psyche and I don’t know if I will ever be the same again.

Hang in there BQ. Collectively we will work through the trauma. And Vernon Clampett:

Truman, however, is all douches to all people. Though he’s curiously run-of-the-mill for a douche with a huge tattoo on his torso, his douchiness is pure, uncorrupted by the vanities of, say, wit, grace, charm, consideration. He is the Super Ego with no Id.

Well said, V.C. Coming in second, the Swedish Meatballs found their fans, as the Everpresent Anonymous casts in:

The Meatballs! Any penis-carrying man’s man would never combine armband, mullet, and DIOR! And what is up with that amazingly boring tat – it looks like a tile design from a swimming pool.

Right you are, unnamed comment thread person.

But grumpy llama makes the case for the spectacular hair of Wheatstalks:

But Wheatstalks is something special. Perhaps I shouldn’t vote for him because the stress of being a douche has accelerated his Male Pattern Baldness, and for us to add to that the ignominy of being HCwDB of the Week would be like kicking a puppy. Ah, f@#k it, some puppies need a good kicking. Wheatstalks it is.

The Wheatstalks is definitely a spectacle, and I would guess that hair will be in the running for a 2008 Douchie Award in December. shia ladouche explains:

Wheatstalks, if only because he has lost more of amber waves of grain to male-pattern baldness since the last time he graced the site.

And by graced, I mean pooed all over our faces with his ridiculous haircut.

For those wondering why I left Friday Follicle off the list, the brunette hott was grumbling in the comments thread and I couldn’t risk the odds on a take-down request. But I agree, that pic should’ve been a finalist. And we will definitely see Wuteva in the 2008 Douchies, so worry not, his poetic verse will find recognition.

But give it up to Truman Coyote for the grease-stained win. don’t wheeze the douche! explains:

I think I’ll go with Truman Coychoade simply because he looks to suffer the Napoleon Syndrome as well as a severe case of jackassery. And dieter agrees:

The meatballs’ hott is one of the finest we’ve seen, but I am voting for Truman Coyote in cold blood. He is the scrotiest, and his hott is wonderful.

david scroterfield: agrees, offering up this argument:

Truman FTW. I can’t quite read his tat, but it looks like it might say “IPECAC”, and he certainly has that effect on me. Also impressive: a second chin on an otherwise skinny scrote. How does that happen, exactly?

And, finally, samantha puts Coyote in New York historical douchespective:

Capote’s got it all…the hand gesture, the hat tilt, the horrible tats, the square of chin pubes, and the adorable hatted hott hanging on him like Edie Sedgwick hung on Andy Warhol. The resemblance is uncanny.

Anyone busting the Warhol/Sedgwick reference earns points in my book. And by points, I mean boobies.

Give it up to The Coyote, and we’ll see them in the Monthly.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 12 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)