Wednesday, June 4, 2008

HCwDB of the Week: Zippy


One of the closest three-way votes in a long time.

And by three-way I mean I would rub Upper West Side Lacy Underalls Hott’s calves with melted tuscan butter cremes and a light dusting of cinnamon.

In the end the megahott wattage propelled Bennington Ultimate Frisbee Douche Champion Zippy to the win. As Boobla Kahn explains it:

I’m giving it to Zippy. Is that the S and B on his forehead? Even if not, he’s got all the other markings.

Mostly, though, I’m in this one for the hott. I’d raise marsupials and smuggle counterfit Chips vhs’s from Wellingham to Kookaburra in their pouches for a chance to peel the gum of the bottom of her second grade desk.

Excellent job noting the “Mark of the ‘Bag” on Zippy’s head, Boobla. For those newbies to the site, the Mark of the ‘Bag is when the sheen on a douche’s forehead distinctly resembles a dude’s Shlong-n-Balls.

scare-a-douche agrees:

It was a tough decision, for Scrote Times has a mighty Bleeth, but my conscious demands that I vote for ninja Zippy and his fine, aged in oaken barrels for eight years Higher Scrote.

It was a wise vote, SaD, for they are deserving. But El-douche-orado disagrees, casting in with Scrote Times at Ridgemont’s own Damone:

The guidics just look like normal, stupid, swedish teenagers. Sure, they are the color of Oompa Loompas, but other than that their doucheyness is low. And their hot is the least hot of the bunch. As a comparison, Scrote Times’ hot is slutty hot. Sure, you might be taking penicillin for weeks after being with her, but those 60 seconds of glory in the back stall of the club’s mensroom will be worth it.

60 Seconds of Glory with a bar hott like that is worth many a price, as we all know from experience. But Uncle Wally reminds us all of the scare factor in casting in for our junior ‘baglings, The Guidics:

the guidics. only because the picture scares me. i mean, really scares me.

Scary doesn’t begin to explain the merging of Nordic and Guido in a teenage culture clash of wrong.

And Weisenheimer Brainstorm asks:

Can I write-in Jean-Claude Van Douche, on general principles? Life time achievement award? Senior Tour champion? Anything, Anything, Bueller?

Sure you can, WB. That’s one vote for JCVD for a year end 2008 Douchie Award. Last year we gave one to Alba and her Spermfriend, so I could see Van Douche picking one up this year.

But Zippy and Madison Ave Hott take the prize. As Don explains:

My vote is for Zippy. First, that chick is smoking hot. Whew. I’m not saying she’s the hottest hott that has ever been on this site, but I would not be afraid to put her toe-to-toe with any other hott for the title.

Second, Zippy is the sort of smug pompous ass that I seriously want to punch in the face. Right here through the computer, he is pissing me off and making me angry. Ug.

Third, Zippy’s dumbass watch. He’s a douche for that alone.

Fourth, that hottie is fantastic! Did you notice that?

Yes. Yes I did, Don.

Zippy and Madison take this week’s crown. Book them a frisbee playing herb smoking ticket in the Monthly. And then mock those stupid sunglasses.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 9 + 12 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)