Monday, July 14, 2008

HCwDB of the Week

Bam!! Pow!! Your humble narrator is jacked on ‘Train and Frosted Flakes, and it’s only Monday Morning. The hopper is full of pics for the week, and I’m rarin’ to go. It’s smoggy and hot in smoggy-ass Los Angeles, and I sit on my floor and stare at the haze over the skyline, and think of how far we’ve come. And how far we still have to go.

But lest I ruminate for so long that I trip over a semi-colon and tangent into a run-on sentence, I’ll shut my yap and turn it over to you. Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Ping Pong Kong

There’s something tremendous about this pic. Maybe it’s the plethora of Ubiquitous Red Cup in the cheesy, creepy dorm rec room with the two sad balloons on the wall.

Maybe the hilarious Pongster scrote with the silly hair and ‘beater tee.

Or maybe it’s my unhealthy obsession with hot girls in librarian glasses that I’ve had ever since I had my first sexual awakening to Jan Smithers as Bailey Quarters on WKRP in Cincinnati reruns in the early 1980s.

Oh Baily Quarters. We all knew you were the real hott, and Loni Anderson was just a Bleethed out piece of plastic.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: A.D: Artificial Douchetelligence

So named because this orange simulation of a real human being is the douchal equivalent of Gigolo Joe in A.I.

The only thing holding back the genius of this pic from achieving immortality is the lack of hott. The girls are just a bit too trashy to create the dialectic of Yin-Yang polarity that renders the truly superior HCwDB a Rorshach test of cultural violation and sexual desire.

But still.

He’s pretty god damn hilarious. About as ridiculous as we’ve ever seen. But enough to carry the weekly? That remains to be seen.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Vin The Personal Trainer ™

Since we haven’t had any Personal Trainer types win an HCwDB of the Week in awhile, I thought I’d give Vin his shot.

Not to mention he’s got two pics, so is starting to build up an oeuvre of scrotological impact.

And she is a delectable ice cream sundae of All-American Dairy Queen Soft Serve Delight.

It was either Vin or Raggedy Andy, so it was kind of a toss-up. Raggedy Andy is also pretty hilarious/awful. I also considered giving Penis Pants a shot in the Weekly, but tough decisions had to be made, and that foot is me. And Tim probably offered up one of the hottest hotts we’ve had in awhile, but was just too happy to really be in consideration.

So them’s your three. Which of these three couplings most makes you want to hot-poker your eyes out?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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